Without realising it, I have already lost myself.
I need to find myself again.
i just went to the cbox and saw that wenyi said they come here on schooldays too! so i should post something here for them in the midst of my busy schedule HAHAHA I SO NICE CAN! :D:D
actually i have nothing to say la haha. cny was very boring for me compared to my friends i think and every year we do the same things so nothing to say haha. i shall just blog about:
my social life is very, very, very screwed up.
thats all that i have been thinking today. i mean its not like i don't have friends who care about me la its just. i realise i have basically been hanging around ppl, most of whom i sort of already know in rg and the ppl i actually know in jc i don't really talk to them. even though there are some that i want to continue keep in contact with. arghh esp. the shanghai ppl. i made the mistake of not continuing to keep in contact with them cos i was afraid, we don't see each other often, etc. etc. they were a damn fun bunch of ppl and everytime i think about them i always think to myself that my class cannot possibly even hold a candle to them la. minus my closer friends. so ultimately its partly my fault. but can also say that 我跟他们无缘. i talk more to ppl whom i only spent 7 days with than with most other ppl in class, whom i have spent 1 year plus with. how ironic.
i have screwed up majorly in this area so i dont expect anything miraculous to happen. i just hope after j2 i go uni and meet more ppl and different ppl. thats partly why i want to go overseas, even alone with nobody i know so that i can start anew.
btw, i actually forgot to tell charlotte this blog exists. oops.
you are supposed to give yourself time to forget someone. that is on top of minimising contact, locking up memories.
but i really don't want to give this up just like that.
i dont care if anyone doesnt read this post cos nobody sort of knows this blog so if anybody happens to see this please tag even if you are doing random blog hopping or we dont really know each other bla bla bla thank you very much (:(:
but anyway i think i am going to have a relatively sad birthday tomorrow which is not really anybody's fault its just overwhelming of emotions thanks to yuxi who dropped a (sort of) bombshell on me today. ok the bombshell is not the news actually its the implication on me i feel quite happy (objectively) about the news anyway but then again THANKS ALOT YUXI :( and yes this got me thinking. and thinking. and thinking. all the way from around 2 plus to now and its all revolving around the same issue. THIS SUCKS because it was history already then it resurfaced again. i swear i really xiang tai duo. oh and my birthday is sad cos tmr i have piano in the morning then got 2 hours tuition then have to celebrate birthday at grandmother's house with ppl i never talk to. THIS IS NOT THE WAY THAT I HAD THOUGHT TO SPEND MY BIRTHDAY. sighs. plus guess what i am sick :/ blocked nose and runny nose ASFJHDSKFJHD sadness.
but in any case today was a sort of eventful day we celebrated sherm's birthday bla bla bla i shant elaborate more i am too tired >< and sorry for rambling cos i just went trixy fong's blog and read her latest rambling post then i laughed out on the spot cos really quite funny HAHAH so i got influenced.
ok whatever i am signing off.
我们停留在时光的原处, 其实早已被洪流无声地卷走.
总有一天都会面目全非,时光没有教会我任何东西,却教会了我不要轻易去相信神话.
我不寂寞,我只是一个人而已 ,我的世界有我一个人就好,已经足够热闹.
你随便的说,我却认真的难过.
~
I revived my blog! I think it will last only one post though >< well at least i changed the settings so that PPL WONT KEEP TELLING ME MY AGE IS WRONG. HAHAHA. I don't know what to say. lol. i think i am just not used to blogging on a public blog haha.
anyway this post is just for the sake of blogging. i am coming back when i think of what to write. haha.
I think its kind of weird when i am doing this int he middle of the night, when I embrace sleep and all. Don't ask me why, though, I was supposed to be doing my vivo vace but ended up listening to music, checking for twilight movie news and blog-hopping a.k.a. stalking XD then I decided to do shanjee's quiz :D
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
- yingzi a.k.a. chesspiece! XD
- cheow
- cheowying
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
- twilightgal5 (:
- ying
- can't think of anymore, haha
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
- uh, strength?
- eyes
- ears!
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
- height
- shoulders ( i should be proud of this, but unfortunately I am not a guy D:)
- fingers
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
- Chinese
- Hokkien
- Singaporean
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
- I totally agree with shanjee on the part on cockroaches. I used to think otherwise, but after that cello room incident.. *shudders*
- Vivo vace. Totally.
- Having to talk for a long time about stuff I don't know. (which is, essentially, vivo vace)
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
- Computer
- Food
- Music, definitely (:
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW:
- Orange shirt
- Shorts
- Specs
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
- I generally like boybands.. backstreet boys!
- hmmm i have no preference for chinese pop though, i think they are all equally good :D
- Beethoven Pathetique Sonata! my fav XD
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW):
- Lose it all - Backstreet boys
- She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5
- ohmygosh, I really don't know. I can list so many others ... XD
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
- Understanding
- Love
- Comfortable-ness (:
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
- I love watching ARTGYM(:
- I love strings!
- I love 304!
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
- Face
- Smile
- Eyes
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
- Reading!(:
- Watching artgym(:
- Releasing strength on my piano with Brahms' Rhapsody Op. 72 when I get really fed up about math! XD
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
- Sleep XD but i can't my brother is still stuck to the computer D:
- Read Breaking Dawn
- Run (obviously it would be crazy to do it at midnight XD)
THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED:
- Piano teacher (when I am down)
- Urban planner
- Study about human origin (:
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
- Switzerland!
- Austria!
- Japan! <33333
THREE NAMES YOU LIKE:
- Ophelia
- Alicia
- Kirsten
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
- Write a movie script or a book(:
- Compose a heartbreaking lullaby
- Tour around the world, I think
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
- I gossip. Its a bad habit i guess.
- I look like one.
- I want affection XD does that count? (:
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
- I don't have any skirts, only formal ones for piano exams XD and that doesnt count!
- I can play rough if I want to.
- I have broad shoulders.
THREE PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
- Yuxi
- Li Khee
- yunshu, haha!
o.m.g. i finished this super lengthy quiz and my brother isn't even done yet XD and its 12.30 in the morn AND i find myself wondering why nina isn't online XD ok. gotta take a break now and maybe catch up on my vivo vace ( which, by the way, I haven't touched since 9pm. oops.)
